eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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