if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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