I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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