im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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