You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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