I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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