lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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