found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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