Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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