this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
