I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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