found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
