At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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