Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
