The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
