Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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