we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize