i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
