I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
