New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm sobbing to NWA
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
