Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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