After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Randomize
