who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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