Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Vodka?
Forever.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
