shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
