3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
