saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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