don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
