i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
he quoted the bible to break up with me
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
