just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
