what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize