Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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