I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
