I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I could make wine with my vomit
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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