I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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