I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
