Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
