Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
