hell yes lets make some ravioli
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
