if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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