Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
it's like iHOP with fire
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
50% drunk capacity currently
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
