So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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