Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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