is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
