so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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