why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
This is the high leading the old right now
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
