I need help removing her.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
