Say something about gay babies.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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