Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
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