And the cops told us we were all naked.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
