No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
the night ended with taco bell and tears
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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