Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize