It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
