fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
