Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
