even my farts smell like vagina
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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