now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
