if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
