i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
