hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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