Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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