if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
